Not going to lie—the last three years have been the most transformational and transitional years of my life. I know many of you can relate.

While it’s been everything I’ve ever wanted, it has also expanded me in ways I never expected, pushing me up against my edges and challenges.

And the area of my life that has been impacted the most? My relationships—romantic, friendships, family, all of it. Some have deepened and grown, while others have faded away—and not enough people talk about the quiet grief that comes with that. Growth is beautiful, but it also requires letting go. And that’s hard. Today, I want to focus on how this has shown up in my marriage, but I’ll be sharing more soon about how relationships as a whole shift when we evolve.

Let’s Recap for a Minute:

In 2022, I…

• Launched my business.
• Met the man of my dreams after years of being single and navigating heartbreak.

(These two things happened on the exact same day. Coincidence? I don’t think so.)

• Left my 15-year career at Burton Snowboards.
• Got engaged on New Year’s Eve.

In 2023, I…

• Got pregnant (not planned).
• Moved from my home of 12 years in with my fiancé.
• Grew a baby in my belly for nine months.
• Became a mother.

In 2024, I…

• Experienced my first year as a mama.
• Got married.

And now, here we are.

To be honest, I’m just catching my breath. Meeting someone, getting engaged, having a baby, and getting married—all within three years—has been beautiful AND a lot. On my nervous system. On my identity. On my relationships.

I feel like I have received everything I’ve ever wanted, and yet, at times, I find myself recalibrating to it all. The post-birth, postpartum, post-wedding comedown has had its moments. And what I’ve realized is this: love isn’t just found in the big milestones—it’s in the tiny, quiet moments.

The ones that aren’t captured in photos or celebrated with anniversaries.

It’s in the way Aaron makes me tea and lemon water in the morning, the way he reaches for my hand when I feel overwhelmed, the way we find each other’s gaze in the midst of the chaos.

It’s the little things. And they are everything.

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What I’ve Learned About Love & Slowing Down in Marriage

1. Love Happens in the In-Between Moments

Big, romantic gestures might be beautiful, but it’s the small, everyday things that build a life.

The shared laughter over a silly kids’ song we’ve been singing all day, the unexpected forehead kiss, the warm meal made for the family after a long day, the gratitude text, the acknowledgement that the other is doing a good job.

For us, our most intimate and vulnerable conversations happen in the car. A five-minute moment of presence can shift everything.

2. Communication Needs to Be Intentional

Between parenting, work, and life, it’s easy for conversations to revolve around logistics (don’t get me wrong the logistics really set us up with structure for success – we love our family Google calendar). But real connection happens when we go deeper.

We love asking, “How’s your head and your heart today?”—a simple check-in that creates space for what’s really on our minds and hearts. We’ve also prioritized couples therapy, which has been both confronting and supportive.

I’d love for these check-ins to happen daily, but sometimes life gets in the way. And that’s okay, too.

3. The Nervous System & Relationships Are Deeply Connected

Love isn’t just emotional—it’s physiological.

Our nervous systems are constantly responding to our environment, including our relationships. When we feel safe, seen, and supported, we’re more open, loving, and connected. But when we’re overwhelmed or disconnected, our nervous system shifts into fight, flight, or freeze mode, making communication harder and intimacy feel more distant.

This is why co-regulation (helping regulate each other’s nervous systems) is so important. Simple things like:

• Holding hands
• Making eye contact
• Taking deep breaths together
• Sharing a quiet moment without screens

Slowing down isn’t just about romance—it’s about creating a sense of safety and ease for both of you, so love can flow more freely.

4. Releasing the Fairytale & Embracing Real Love

After our wedding, I had such a big comedown.

We spent over a year and a half planning our four-day wedding weekend… and then suddenly, it was over?! And while that was a relief (because planning a wedding with a newborn is something else), I realized that love isn’t just romance and excitement—it’s deep friendship, patience, and choosing each other daily.

Marriage isn’t the finish line. It’s a new beginning.

And navigating shifting identities—wife, mother, partner—comes with its own season of growth. Acknowledging the changes and allowing space for them has been so important for us.

5. Creating Rituals for Connection

By the end of last year, we were tired.

Sleepless nights. Little time to reconnect. And we realized—we needed to intentionally prioritize us again.

Some simple ways we’ve done that:

• Monthly date nights (we haven’t quite nailed at-home date nights because we’re both exhausted by bedtime—but the desire is there!)
• Gratitude check-ins
• Morning hugs
• Tech-free time together, reading our Daily Dad parenting book
• Sunday family check-ins & meal planning
• Bi-monthly finance meetings

It doesn’t have to be over the top. It just has to be consistent.

6. Making Space for Individual Growth

I believe deeply that the personal healing and evolution we do for ourselves is the foundation for thriving partnerships.

The inner work—coaching, retreats, therapy, meditation, support meetings—directly impacts how we relate to our partners. When we grow individually, we grow together.

7. Being Gentle with Each Other (and Yourself)

Maybe the most important of all.

Love and relationships have seasons. Some feel effortless. Others take work. We’re in a season of work, and that’s okay.

My personal practice?

• Keeping my heart open when I’m upset, instead of closing off and creating more distance
• Offering grace, softness, and humor along the way
• Taking deep breaths before reacting
• Knowing when to pause, reset, and come back to each other with love

Because love isn’t just found in the big moments.

It’s in the way he looks at you when you’re not paying attention.

The laughter before bed.

The quiet comfort of simply being together.

Slowing down in love means choosing to notice these moments. To sink into them. To let them matter.

What’s a small, seemingly simple moment in your relationship that means the world to you? Drop it in the comments or DM me on Instagram—I’d love to hear.

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